Moms, Mommies, Mamas, Momma Dukes.... Mamacita(?)

I would like to first wish all the Mothers a Happy Mothers Day even though there is approximately 1 hour and 4 minutes left of of Mommies Day, unless your on the Left Coast and then all the moms have a whole 'nother 4 hours to not change diapers, drink a margarita, shake their moneymaker and tell there husbands what to do because, "damnit its Mothers Day". 

I've got to say whoever invented the idea of a Mom was definitely wearing their smart cap that day.  Moms are easily the most versatile kind of human being.  Moms can change diapers, kiss owies, do the hair of 3-year old drama queens(special shout-out to my wife on this one), make grilled cheese just the right way, and scare away the spooky ghost or neighborhood hobo away from underneath the bed.  Dads on the other hand, basically just grunt, watch sports and tell kids to "man up" even when they are a 3-month old little girl.  Personally, I've got an extra special spot in my heart for my mom since she basically raised me up until I was 7 even though at times I'm sure she would have like to sent me off down the river biblical style.  This is a whole other reason why Moms are awesome.  You can be the worst child, the naughtiest brat, or the human form of the bubonic plague and they will still love you, nurture you and care for you like nothing ever happened.  Of course all the loving, nurturing and caring may come after they leave the imprint of a kayak oar across your backside. 

No matter what though Moms always know best.  They give the best advice, the most uplifting pep talks and whether you want to believe them or not they always know when your girlfriends are going to keepers or creepers.  Teenage males could probably save themselves a lot of time and heartbreak if they would just listen to mom when she says that the pretty little thing in a mini-skirt is just going to treat their hearts like a pinata at a 8-year olds birthday party.  All in all, I want to say thank you, not just to my mom but all the moms out there for you have the made the world a better, more beautiful place and we wouldnt be anywhere without all the Moms in the world.

Night Time Surprise

There is nothing in this world that makes you enjoy being a parent more than when it's 11:30 at night and your oh so close to enjoying a peaceful diaper-free sleep only to hear the door creak ever so slowly open followed by the soft padding of size 7 feet on carpet, followed by the words... "Daddy, I want juice".  And then, because you are the self-proclaimed best parent in the world, you joyfully stumble out of bed, guide your child to their room, only to find that their bedroom smells like the restroom of Taco Bell after Free Bean Burrito Night.  This is what I call Mady's Special Delivery.  Pull-up changed, sleep disturbed, I've only got 1 thing to say, "Happy Mother Day, love, next one's on you."

On a more positive note, Madison and Mallory have learned to communicate with each other verbally.  The bad part is their communicating consists of inaudible shrieks that are akin to the noises made by the aliens in "Mars Attacks".  Not particularly pleasant on the ears, but I do give them an "A" for effort.  

The wonderful world of pockets

As a parent sometimes I put on my clothes whether it be jeans, shorts, khakis or spandex chaps and I am usually surprised to find what is lurking in my pockets.  Normal, childless people usually stash items such as keys, change and reciepts into their pockets but us parents have completely different things hidden in our clothes.  Today I found a pink hair clip and a silly band.  Sometimes I discover puzzle pieces, heads to disney character toys or half chewed sweet tarts.  In fact, hidden in away in a drawer at work is a pink pair of kiddie socks that mysteriously found their way into my pockets.  I didn't know what to do them with so I keep them around just in case a 6 month old wanders into City Hall looking for a pair of socks for the walk home.  I feel if that future toddler happens to be a boy.  So for all of you parents, when you reach down into those holes in your chlothes known as pockets and find a teething ring or a muppet toy, know that you are not alone. 

The Theater

If Shakespears says that "All the World is a Stage", hear are the actors in our play.

Madison Rylie aka Mady Cakes aka The Little Princess
A princess, a diva, a drama queen.  3 years old.  A mermaid in training - minus the seashell bra.  Likes ice cream, tomatoes and painted toenails.  Dislikes her hair being done, mustard and going to bed on time.

Mallory Grace aka Malloryzilla aka the Sour Patch Kid
Her name is translated to Malicious.  She definitely lives up to the name.  18 months old.  She's a lover and fighter.  She'll give you a hug and a choke hold, at the same time.  Likes walking in the grass, shoes and food, all food.  Dislikes men with beards, sitting still and not being able to keep up with big sister.

Chad and Ashley
Married for 4 years, together for 7.  Happy.  Loves kids and family.  Chad - a City Land Planner.  Ashley - Receptionist for Radiologist office.  Ashley likes chick flicks, 16 and pregnant and black olives.  Chad dislikes all of the above.

In this production there are no dress rehearsals, no cue cards and lots of falls, missed lines and poor performances but in the end there is always an award winning performance.